| To
the Mothers in Zion
I rejoice in the opportunity of being
with you this evening.
I have been touched by the beautiful
music and the splendid instructions we have received.
There is no theme I would rather speak
to than home and family, for they are at the very heart of the gospel of
Jesus Christ. The Church, in large part, exists for the salvation and exaltation
of the family.
At a recent general priesthood meeting,
I spoke directly to the young men of the Aaronic Priesthood regarding their
duties and responsibilities. Shortly thereafter, at a general Women's conference,
I spoke to the young women of the Church, discussing their opportunities
and their sacred callings.
Tonight, at this fireside for parents,
seeking the sweet inspiration of heaven, I would like to speak directly
to the mothers assembled here and throughout the Church, for you are, or
should be, the very heart and soul of the family.
No More Noble
Work
No more sacred word exists in secular
or holy writ than that of mother. There is no more noble work than that
of a good and God-fearing mother. This evening I pay tribute to the mothers
in Zion and pray with all my heart that what I have to say to you will
be understood by the Spirit and will lift and bless your lives in your
sacred callings as mothers.
President David 0. McKay declared:
"Motherhood is the greatest potential influence either for good or ill
in human life. The mother's image is the first that stamps itself on the
unwritten page of the young child's mind. It is her caress that first awakens
a sense of security; her kiss, the first realization of affection; her
sympathy and tenderness, the first assurance that there is love in the
world" (Gospel Ideals [Salt Lake City: The Improvement Era, 1953],
p. 452). President McKay continues: "Motherhood consists of three principal
attributes or qualities: namely, (1) the power to bear, (2) the ability
to rear, (3) the gift to love.... This ability and willingness property
to rear children, the gift to love, and eagerness, yes, longing to express
it in soul development, make motherhood the noblest office or calling in
the world. She who can paint a masterpiece or write a book that will influence
millions deserves the admiration and the plaudits of mankind; but she who
rears successfully a family of healthy, beautiful sons and daughters, whose
influence will be felt through generations to come.... deserves the highest
honor that man can give, and the choicest blessings of God" (Gospel
Ideals, pp. 453-54). With all my heart I endorse the words of President
McKay.
A Mother's Role
Is God-ordained
In the eternal family, God established
that fathers are to preside in the home. Fathers are to provide, to love,
to teach, and to direct.
But a mother's role is also God-ordained.
Mothers are to conceive, to bear, to nourish, to love, and to train. So
declare the revelations. In section 132 of the Doctrine and Covenants,
the Lord states that the opportunity and responsibility of wives is "to
multiply and replenish the earth, according to my commandment, and to fulfill
the promise which was given by my Father before the foundation of the world,
and for their exaltation in the eternal worlds, that they may bear the
souls of men; for herein is the work of my Father continued, that he may
be glorified" (D&C 132:63).
Husbands and
Wives Are Co-creators
With this divine injunction husbands
and wives, as co-creators, should eagerly and prayerfully invite children
into their homes. Then, as each child joins their family circle, they can
gratefully exclaim, as did Hannah, "For this child I prayed; and the Lord
hath given me my petition which I asked of him: Therefore also I have lent
him to the Lord: as long as he liveth he shall be lent to the Lord" (I
Samuel 1:27-28).
Isn't that beautiful? A mother praying
to bear a child and then giving him to the Lord.
I have always loved the words of Solomon:
"Children are an heritage of the Lord: and. . . happy is the man [and woman]
that hath [their] quiver full of them" (Psalm 127:3- 5).
I know the special blessings of a large
and happy family, for my dear parents had a quiver full of children. Being
the oldest of eleven children, I saw the principles of unselfishness, mutual
consideration, loyalty to each other, and a host of other virtues developed
in a large and wonderful family with my noble mother as the queen of that
home.
Young mothers and fathers, with all
my heart I counsel you not to postpone having your children, being co-creators
with our Father in Heaven. Do not use the reasoning of the world, such
as, "We'll wait until we can better afford having children, until we are
more secure, until John has completed his education, until he has a better-paying
job, until we have a larger home, until we've obtained a few of the material
conveniences," and on and on.
This is the reasoning of the world,
and is not pleasing in the sight of God. Mothers who enjoy good health,
have your children and have them early. And, husbands, always be considerate
of your wives in the bearing of children.
Do not curtail the number of your children
for personal or selfish reasons. Material possessions, social convenience,
and so-called professional advantages are nothing compared to a righteous
posterity. In the eternal perspective, children-not possessions, not position,
not prestige-are out greatest jewels. Brigham Young emphasized: "There
are multitudes of pure and holy spirits waiting to take tabernacles, now
what is our duty? - To prepare tabernacles for them; to take a course that
will not tend to drive those spirits into the families of the wicked, where
they will be trained in wickedness, debauchery, and every species of crime.
It is the duty of every righteous man and woman to prepare tabernacles
for all the spirits they can" (Discourses of Brigham Young, sel.
John A. Widtsoe [Salt Lake City: Deseret Book Co., 19541, p. 197).
Yes, blessed is the husband and wife
who have a family of children. The deepest joys and blessings in life are
associated with family, parenthood, and sacrifice. To have those sweet
spirits come into the home is worth practically any sacrifice.
Special Promises
of God
We realize that some women, through
no fault of their own, are not able to bear children. To these lovely sisters,
every prophet of God has promised that they will be blessed with children
in the eternities and that posterity will not be denied them.
Through pure faith, pleading prayers,
fasting, and special priesthood blessings, many of these same lovely sisters,
with their noble companions at their sides, have had miracles take place
in their lives and have been blessed with children. Others have prayerfully
chosen to adopt children, and to these wonderful couples we salute you
for the sacrifices and love you have given to those children you have chosen
to be your own.
Rearing Children
the Lord's Way
Now, my dear mothers, knowing of your
divine role to bear and rear children and bring them back to Him, how will
you accomplish this in the Lord's way? I say the "Lord's way," because
it is different from the world's way. The Lord clearly defined the roles
of mothers and fathers in providing for and rearing a righteous posterity.
In the beginning-, Adam- not Eve-was instructed to earn the bread by the
sweat of his brow. Contrary to conventional wisdom, a mother's calling
is in the home, not in the marketplace.
Again, in the Doctrine and Covenants,
we read: "Women have claim on their husbands for their maintenance, until
their husbands are taken" (D&C 83:2). This is the divine right of a
wife and mother. She cares for and nourishes her children at home. Her
husband earns the living for the family, which makes this nourishing possible.
With that claim on their husbands for their financial support, the counsel
of the Church has always been for mothers to spend their full time in the
home in rearing and caring for their children.
We realize also that some of our choice
sisters are widowed and divorced and that others find themselves in unusual
circumstances where, out of necessity, they are required to work for a
period of time. But these instances are the exception, not the rule.
In a home where there is an able-bodied
husband, he is expected to be the breadwinner. Sometimes we hear of husbands
who, because of economic conditions, have lost their jobs and expect their
wives to go out of the home and work even though the husband is still capable
of providing for his family. In these cases, we urge the husband to do
all in his power to allow his wife to remain in the home caring for the
children while he continues to provide for his family the best he can,
even though the job he is able to secure may not be ideal and family budgeting
will have to be tighter.
Counsel of President
Kimball
Our beloved prophet Spencer W. Kimball
had much to say about the role of mothers in the home and their callings
and responsibilities. I am impressed tonight to share with you some of
his inspired pronouncements. I fear that much of his counsel has gone unheeded,
and families have suffered because of it. But I stand this evening as a
second witness to the truthfulness of what President Spencer W. Kimball
said. He spoke as a true prophet of God.
President Kimball declared: "Women
are to take care of the family-the Lord has so stated-to be an assistant
to the husband, to work with him, but not to earn the living, except in
unusual circumstances. Men ought to be men indeed and earn the living under
normal circumstances" (Teachings of Spencer W. Kimball, ed. Edward
L. Kimball [Salt Lake City: Bookcraft, 19821, p. 318). President Kimball
continues: "Too many mothers work away from home to furnish sweaters and
music lessons and trips and fun for their children. Too many women spend
their time in socializing, in politicking, in public services when they
should be home to teach and train and receive and love their children into
security" (Teachings of Spencer W. Kimball, p. 319).
Remember the counsel of President Kimball
to John and Mary: "Mary, you are to become a career woman in the greatest
career on earth-that of homemaker, wife, and mother. It was never intended
by the Lord that married women should compete with men in employment. They
have a far greater and more important service to render" (Faith Precedes
the Miracle [Salt Lake City: Deseret Book Co., 19751, p. 128).
Again President Kimball speaks: "The
husband is expected to support his family and only in an emergency should
a wife secure outside employment. Her place is in the home, to build the
home into a heaven of delight. "Numerous divorces can be traced directly
to the day when the wife left the home and went out into the world into
employment. Two incomes raise the standard of living beyond its norm. Two
spouses working prevent the complete and proper home life, break into the
family prayers, create an independence which is not cooperative, causes
distortion, limits the family, and frustrates the children already born"
(fireside address, San Antonio, Texas, 3 Dec. 1977).
Finally, President Kimball counsels:
"I beg of you, you who could and should be bearing and rearing a family:
wives, come home from the typewriter, the laundry, the nursing, come home
from the factory, the cafe. No career approaches in importance that of
wife, homemaker, mother-cooking meals, washing dishes, making beds for
one's precious husband and children. Come home, wives, to your husbands.
Make home a heaven for them. Come home, wives, to your children, born and
unborn. Wrap the motherly cloak about you and, unembarrassed, help in a
major role to create the bodies for the immortal souls who anxiously await.
"When you have fully complemented your
husband in home life and borne the children, growing up full of faith,
integrity, responsibility, and goodness, then you have achieved your accomplishment
supreme, without peer, and you will be the envy [of all] through time and
eternity" (fireside address, San Antonio, Texas).
President Kimball spoke the truth.
His words are prophetic.
Ten Ways to Spend
Time with Children
Mothers in Zion, your God-given roles
are so vital to your own exaltation and to the salvation and exaltation
of your family. A child needs a mother more than all the things money can
buy. Spending time with your children is the greatest gift of all.
With love in my heart for the mothers
in Zion, I would now like to suggest ten specific ways our mothers may
spend effective time with their children.
Be at the Crossroads.
First, take time to always be at the crossroads when your children are
either coming or going-when they leave and return from school, when they
leave and return from dates, when they bring friends home. Be there at
the crossroads whether your children are six or sixteen. In Proverbs we
read, "A child left to himself bringeth his mother to shame" (Proverbs
29:15). Among the greatest concerns in our society are the millions of
latchkey children who come home daily to empty houses, unsupervised by
working parents.
Be a Real Friend. Second,
mothers, take time to be a real friend to your children. Listen to your
children, really listen. Talk with them, laugh and joke with them, sing
with them, play with them, cry with them, hug them, honestly praise them.
Yes, regularly spend unrushed one-on-one time with each child. Be a real
friend to your children.
Read to Your Children.
Third, mothers, take time to read to your children. Starting from the cradle,
read to your sons and daughters. Remember what the poet said:
You may have tangible wealth untold;
Caskets of jewels and coffers of gold.
Richer than I you can never be-
I had a mother who read to me.
(Strickland Gillilan, "The Reading
Mother.")
You will plant a love for good literature
and a real love for the scriptures if you will read to your children regularly.
Pray with Your Children.
Fourth, take time to pray with your children. Family prayers, under the
direction of the father, should be held morning and night. Have your children
feel of your faith as you call down the blessings of heaven upon them.
Paraphrasing the words of James, "The ... fervent prayer of a righteous
[mother] availeth much" (James 5:16). Have your children participate in
family and personal prayers, and rejoice in their sweet utterances to their
Father in Heaven.
Have Weekly Home Evenings.
Fifth, take time to have a meaningful weekly home evening. With your husband
presiding, participate in a spiritual and an uplifting home evening each
week. Have your children actively involved. Teach them correct principles.
Make this one of your great family traditions. Remember the marvelous promise
made by President Joseph F. Smith when home evenings were first introduced
to the Church: "if the Saints obey this counsel, we promise that great
blessings will result. Love at home and obedience to parents will increase.
Faith will be developed in the hearts of the youth of Israel, and they
will gain power to combat the evil influence and temptations which beset
them" (James R. Clark, comp., Messages of the First Presidency of The
Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, 6 vols. [Salt Lake City:
Bookcraft, 1965 - 751, 4:339). This wonderful promise is still in effect
today.
Be Together at Mealtimes.
Sixth, take time to be together at mealtimes as often as possible. This
is a challenge as the children get older and lives get busier. But happy
conversation, sharing of the day's plans and activities, and special teaching
moments occur at mealtime because mothers and fathers and children work
at it.
Read Scriptures Daily. Seventh, take
time daily to read the scriptures together as a family. Individual scripture
reading is important, but family scripture reading is vital. Reading the
Book of Mormon together as a family will especially bring increased spirituality
into your home and will give both parents and children the power to resist
temptation and to have the Holy Ghost as their constant companion. I promise
you that the Book of Mormon will change the lives of your family.
Do Things as a Family.
Eighth, take time to do things together as a family. Make family outings
and picnics and birthday celebrations and trips special times and memory
builders. Whenever possible, attend, as a family, events where one of the
family members is involved, such as a school play, a ball game, a talk,
a recital. Attend church meetings together and sit together as a family
when you can. Mothers who help families pray and play together will stay
together and will bless children's lives forever.
Teach Your Children.
Ninth, mothers, take time to teach your children. Catch the teaching moments.
This can be done anytime during the day-at mealtime, in casual settings,
or at special sit-down times together, at the foot of the bed at the end
of the day, or during an early morning walk together. Mothers, you are
your children's best teacher. Don't shift this precious responsibility
to day-care centers or baby-sitters. A mother's love and prayerful concern
for her children are her most important ingredients in teaching her own.
Teach children gospel principles. Teach
them it pays to be good. Teach them there is no safety in sin. Teach them
a love for the gospel of Jesus Christ and a testimony of its divinity.
Teach your sons and daughters modesty, and teach them to respect manhood
and womanhood. Teach your children sexual purity, proper dating standards,
temple marriage, missionary service, and the importance of accepting and
magnifying Church callings.
Teach them a love for work and the
value of a good education. Teach them the importance of the right kind
of entertainment, including appropriate movies and videos and music and
books and magazines. Discuss the evils of pornography and drugs, and teach
them the value of living the clean life.
Yes, mothers, teach your children the
gospel in your own home, at your own fireside. This is the most effective
teaching that your children will ever receive. This is the Lord's way of
teaching. The Church cannot teach like you can. The school cannot. The
day- care center cannot. But you can, and the Lord will sustain you. Your
children will remember your teachings forever, and when they are old, they
will not depart from them. They will call you blessed-their truly angel
mother.
Mothers, this kind of heavenly, motherly
teaching takes time-lots of time. It cannot be done effectively part-time.
It must be done all the time in order to save and exalt your children.
This is your divine calling.
Truly Love Your Children
Tenth and finally, mothers, take the time to truly love your children.
A mother's unqualified love approaches Christlike love.
Here is a beautiful tribute by a son
to his mother: "I don't remember much about her views of voting nor her
social prestige; and what her ideas on child training, diet, and eugenics
were, I cannot recall. The main thing that sifts back to me now through
the thick undergrowth of years is that she loved me. She liked to lie on
the grass with me and tell stories, or to run and hide with us children.
She was always hugging me. And I liked it. She had a sunny face. To me
it was like God, and all the beatitudes saints tell of Him. And sing! Of
all the sensations pleasurable to my life nothing can compare with the
rapture of crawling up into her lap and going to steep while she swung
to and fro in her rocking chair and sang. Thinking of this, I wonder if
the woman of today, with all her tremendous notions and plans, realizes
what an almighty factor she is in shaping of her child for weal or woe.
I wonder if she realizes how much sheer love and attention count for in
a child's life."
Mothers, your teenage children also
need that same kind of love and attention. It seems easier for many mothers
and fathers to express and show their love to their children when they
are young, but more difficult when they are older. Work at this prayerfully.
There need be no generation gap. And the key is love. Our young people
need love and attention, not indulgence. They need empathy and understanding,
not indifference from mothers and fathers. They need the parents' time.
A mother's kindly teachings and her love for and confidence in a teenage
son or daughter can literally save them from a wicked world.
Blessings of
the Lord upon Parents
In closing, I would be remiss this
evening if I did not express my love and eternal gratitude for my sweetheart
and companion and the mother of our six children. Her devotion to motherhood
has blessed me and our family beyond words of expression. She has been
a marvelous mother, completely and happily devoting her life and her mission
to her family. How grateful I am for Flora!
May I also express my gratitude to
you fathers and husbands assembled this evening. We look to you to give
righteous leadership in your home and families and, with your companions
and the mothers of your children, to lead your families back to out Eternal
Father.
Now God bless our wonderful mothers.
We pray for you. We sustain you. We honor you as you bear, nourish, train,
teach, and love for eternity. I promise you the blessings of heaven and
"all that [the] Father hath" (see D&C 84:38) as you magnify the noblest
calling of all-a mother in Zion. In the name of Jesus Christ, amen. |